IS ARGUING OVER AND OVER RUINING YOUR RELATIONSHIP (AND YOUR LIFE)?
Do you find yourself arguing with your partner over and over?
Are you feeling disillusioned with your relationship and hopeless that it can get better?
Whether you’re married, live separate, cohabiting, or in a same-sex relationship, blaming, complaining, and spending hours fighting is no way to live.
Couples therapy can help you relieve the tension in your relationship by focusing on the key foundations of a successful relationship.
If you noticed the spark has disappeared from your relationship, you don’t have fun anymore, and the tension between you doesn’t seem to go away, then it’s time to see if couples therapy can help.
YOU MIGHT QUESTION IF YOUR RELATIONSHIP CAN STILL BE SAVED
If you’re experiencing a significant amount of tension in your relationship, you’re likely feeling a lack of hope. Many couples find that coming in for just a few sessions significantly reduces the tension and helps increase communication so you both can feel heard and understood.
Just to be clear, couples therapy can take weeks and sometimes months to make significant progress depending on the challenges your relationship is facing, but often the biggest hurdle is getting started.
CONNECTING WITH YOUR PARTNER CAN FEEL GOOD AGAIN
Imagine finally communicating in a way where you feel heard and understood. Imagine finally asking for what you need in a way where your partner listens and can help you feel valued and cared about.
Feeling reconnected with your partner can start to feel great again. Couples therapy may even help you reach new levels of intimacy, pleasure and passion in your relationship.
WHAT DOES COUPLES THERAPY LOOK LIKE?
Our work together is collaborative. Sessions involve processing through emotions, challenging thought patterns about your partner, and learning skills on how to communicate in a way where you feel heard and understood.
We use the Gottman relationship check-up assessment to identify the exact areas of concern in your relationship. Taking the assessment may also allow us to make progress faster because of the targeted feedback it provides about the problem areas in your relationship.
Developed from over 40 years of research with thousands of couples, the Gottman relationship check-up assessment relies on intensive, detailed, and evidence-based information on why relationships succeed or fail.
The Gottman assessment is a HIPAA-compliant questionnaire consisting of questions about friendship, intimacy, emotions, conflict, values, and trust, as well as parenting, housework, finances, individual areas of concern, and more. The results evaluate your relationship on the keys to a happy, fulfilling, and long-lasting relationship.
The keys include:
- Trust and Commitment
- Knowing One Another’s World
- Fondness and Admiration
- Turning Toward Instead of Away
- Keeping a Positive Perspective
- Managing Conflict
- Making Life Dreams Come True
- Creating Shared Meaning
The work we do together helps you and your partner develop a real sense of intimacy in your relationship. It’s very typical for couples’ therapy to include homework assignments to practice with your partner between sessions. The more consistent you and your partner are with treatment and actively using the skills you learn and review in therapy, the more likely you’ll make progress in your relationship.
Couples therapy is a safe place where you can explore what hasn’t been working in your relationship in a non-judgmental way and begin to lay a new foundation with healthy patterns that allow for deeper intimacy, love, and connection in your relationship.
WHAT IF COUPLES COUNSELING DOESN’T WORK FOR US?
There are times where couples wait too long to come in for help. In some severe cases, some couples come in for support on how to end the relationship with the least amount of drama and in an amicable way.
Couples therapy will also be a huge source of support if ending your relationship is the best thing to do. Though the goal in mind is to preserve and significantly improve your relationship, sometimes the best decision is to part. And while this is a decision you must make for yourself as a couple, you will be supported as you sort through the confusion to reach the best decision for everyone.
HOW WILL THERAPY IMPROVE MY RELATIONSHIP?
Couples therapy helps improve your relationship in many ways. Couples today are facing many challenges due to living an unbalanced lifestyle, high achieving personal demands and having stressful careers. Couples therapy is a safe place to sort out the confusion of where the stress and arguments originate. (Because how you put away the dishes is never just about the dishes.)
Couples therapy is also a place to learn communication skills and safely ask for what you need. In many cases, relationship tension alleviates within weeks; and you’re able to experience your relationship through a newly gained perspective.
MALE AND FEMALE “SPEAK”
Couples therapy is a great place to learn each other’s language. What do I mean by this? Men and women often speak different languages. If you’re experiencing persistent conflict in your relationship, you already know this to be true. In our sessions, you will learn how to better understand what your partner is saying and develop effective ways of communicating with each other.
WHAT IF IT GETS WORSE BEFORE IT GETS BETTER?
Couples therapy shows you how to “manage” conflict rather than “resolve” it. Relationship conflict is natural and has a positive and functional purpose in all relationships. There is a critical difference in handling perpetual problems and solvable problems.
You will learn about each in session so you can better understand which problems in your relationship are solvable and which are personality differences. There are times when couples therapy can increase the stress in the relationship before it gets better. Often this is the result of learning new skills and setting new and healthier limits in the relationship. The goal of change is often accompanied by growing pains. When this occurs, things can seem even more uncertain. With the help of a trained professional, many couples start to see improvement in just a few short weeks or months.
GROWTH AND SOLUTION-FOCUSED APPROACH
Beginning couples therapy requires courage and trust. Our initial 3 sessions will focus on learning about your most pressing issues and evaluating the current health of the relationship.
Once this assessment is completed, we will begin to focus on building a sound relationship house (as pictured above). You can expect your therapist to be empathic, supportive, and direct with you and your partner. It is important that you know this is a judgement-free zone, and we ensure to provide a safe environment to work on these difficult topics.
When you come in for couples’ therapy, we don’t waste time but get right to work. Couples therapy will require you and your partner to commit to practicing new skills outside of session. As long as you’re willing to learn and apply these new skills, we will be able to work together.
The Gottman method is research-based using effective interventions and exercises. Your sessions are structured, goal-oriented, and scientifically based. The intervention strategies used are based on empirical data from Dr. Gottman’s study of more than 3,000 couples. This research shows what works to help couples achieve a long-term healthy relationship. Our therapists are Gottman level 1 trained and working on completing advanced training through the Gottman Institute.
Couples therapy can dramatically change the quality of your relationship and your life. If you’re considering Couples Therapy and would like to learn more about how our treatment process applies to you, give us a call for your FREE 20-Minute consultation. If you reach our voicemail, please leave a message; your phone call will be returned as soon as possible.