LGBTQ+ Affirming Therapy
Affirming should mean you do not spend the first ten minutes explaining yourself.
Affirming in practice, not as a label: your identity is context, not curriculum. Individuals and couples of every configuration, in Bankers Hill and online across California.
Overview
Where this usually starts
A lot of people arrive having done a version of therapy where they were the teacher. They explained their relationship structure, corrected a pronoun twice, translated their family situation, and then had eight minutes left for the thing they came in about. Affirming, in practice, means none of that happens. Your identity is context I already hold, and the session belongs to whatever you are actually carrying.
The office is at 2560 First Ave, Suite 202, in Bankers Hill, San Diego. I have worked with queer and trans clients, individuals and couples, for years.
At a Glance
- Shelley Davidescu, LMFT, 17 years in practice
- In person in Bankers Hill, San Diego
- Telehealth Monday through Friday across California
- Free 15-minute consultation
Individual sessions are $210, or $325 for 90 minutes. Couples sessions are $225, or $345 for 90 minutes.
Full fees and policiesDoes This Sound Familiar?
The specifics, not a symptom list
Open any line to see how I would think about it with you.
Maybe you have edited yourself in a therapy room before.
Once that happens, part of your attention stays on managing the therapist. We name it early so you can notice if it starts happening here, and so you can tell me.
Fit
Who this is for, and who it is not
It is worth knowing before you book, so neither of us spends four sessions finding out.
A Good Fit
- You are queer, trans, nonbinary, questioning, or in a relationship that does not fit a standard template.
- You want to spend your session on anxiety, trauma, relationships, or work, with your identity as context rather than the subject.
- You are a couple of any configuration looking for structured work on conflict and repair.
- You are near Hillcrest, Bankers Hill, or North Park, or you want telehealth anywhere in California.
Not the Right Fit
- If you need crisis or inpatient-level care, or care that requires psychiatric management, I am not the right fit and I will help you find it.
- I do not provide letters for gender-affirming medical care or surgical readiness assessments. Those need a clinician who does that specific work.
- If you are looking for a therapist who shares your identity from the inside, that is a completely reasonable thing to want, and I will say so rather than talk you out of it.
If you are in crisis, call or text 988. If I am not the right clinician for what you are carrying, I will say so and help you find someone who is.
What We Work On
Three things, in order
The actual presenting problem
Usually anxiety, a relationship, a family rupture, or something from earlier that is still active. We work on that. Identity comes in where it is doing something, and you decide when that is.
Family of origin, without a required ending
Some people want a repaired relationship. Some want a manageable one. Some want out. I do not have a preferred outcome, and I will not steer you toward reconciliation because it is tidier.
Couples work that fits your relationship
Gottman Level 1 and EFIT Level 1 methods applied to the structure you actually have, including partners who are not both out, and relationships with more than two people in them.
Questions
Answered plainly
Anything not covered here is worth asking on the free 15-minute consult.
Related Reading
What does affirming mean in your practice, concretely?
Your identity and your relationship structure are starting information, not something to be assessed. I use your name and pronouns without commentary, I do not treat being queer or trans as a factor in the problem unless you tell me it is.
Can you write a letter for gender-affirming care?
No. I do not provide readiness assessments or letters for medical or surgical care. If that is what you need, I would rather tell you now than after four sessions.
Do you see couples with more than two people?
Yes. Couples rates apply, $225 for a standard session and $345 for 90 minutes, and we would talk in the consult about who is coming and how to structure it.
Where are you located?
2560 First Ave, Suite 202, in Bankers Hill, a few minutes from Hillcrest. In-person availability is limited to one Sunday a month, and telehealth runs Monday through Friday across California.
Free 15-Minute Consult
Fifteen minutes to find out whether this is the right work.
Tell me what is actually going on. I will tell you honestly how I would approach it, and whether I am the right person for it.
In person in San Diego, and by telehealth across California.