Tech, Biotech, and Startups
Three reorgs later, and you may still be checking Slack at midnight.
For engineers, scientists, and operators living inside layoff cycles, equity math, and remote isolation. Practical work for people who like to know why something works.
Overview
Where this usually starts
The industry runs on cycles that are not survivable at the level your body responds to them. A round of layoffs happens, you keep your job, and then you spend eight months waiting for the next one while performing steadiness in stand-ups. Nobody calls that a stressor because nothing happened to you. Your nervous system does not make that distinction.
Underneath it sits the money question. Equity that may be worth something, or may be worth nothing, tied to decisions you do not control, is a very specific kind of open loop. Combine it with remote work, where the only social evidence you get is text, and you have a setup where a lot of capable people quietly conclude they are the only one who feels like a fraud. In a room where everyone feels it, nobody says it.
At a Glance
- Shelley Davidescu, LMFT, 17 years in practice
- In person in Bankers Hill, San Diego
- Telehealth Monday through Friday across California
- Free 15-minute consultation
Individual sessions are $210, or $325 for 90 minutes. Couples sessions are $225, or $345 for 90 minutes.
Full fees and policiesDoes This Sound Familiar?
The specifics, not a symptom list
Open any line to see how I would think about it with you.
Some people keep an internal countdown to the next round of cuts.Open
Anticipatory dread is exhausting in a way that actual events are not, because it never resolves. We work on what you can control, what you cannot, and how to stop rehearsing an outcome your body then treats as having happened.
Maybe your financial security is tied to numbers you cannot influence.Open
We separate the actual financial plan from the emotional weather around it. Those are two different problems and mixing them keeps both unsolved.
You might be fully remote, and go days without talking to anyone outside a call.Open
Isolation degrades mood before you notice it, and the fix has to be specific rather than a resolution to be more social. We design something small enough that you will actually do it in a bad week.
Sometimes you are sure you are the least capable person on your team.Open
Almost everyone on that team believes a version of this. That does not make it feel less true. We look at what evidence you are letting count, which is usually a very short and very biased list.
You solved the technical problem and somehow still feel behind.Open
When your sense of worth is recalculated daily against output, no result holds. We work on where the recalculation is coming from, which usually predates any job you have had.
Fit
Who this is for, and who it is not
It is worth knowing before you book, so neither of us spends four sessions finding out.
A Good Fit
- You work in software, biotech, or defense tech, in San Diego's Sorrento Valley and Torrey Pines corridor or fully remote anywhere in California.
- You want to understand the mechanism, not just be told to breathe. I will explain why a tool works.
- You are dealing with anxiety, burnout, relationship strain, or the aftermath of a layoff or a bad stretch at work.
- You are willing to try things between sessions and report back on what actually happened.
Not the Right Fit
- If you need crisis or inpatient-level care, or care that requires psychiatric management, I am not the right fit and will help you find the right level of care.
- This is not career coaching, interview prep, or advice about whether to take the offer. We may touch on those, but they are not the work.
- If you want a purely analytical conversation with no attention to what your body is doing, the parts of this that matter most will not land.
If you are in crisis, call or text 988. If I am not the right clinician for what you are carrying, I will say so and help you find someone who is.
What We Work On
Three things, in order
Uncertainty you cannot resolve
Most of the strain in this industry comes from open loops. CBT and DBT tools for tolerating an unresolved question, plus regulation work so the tolerance holds under load rather than only in theory.
Rebuilding contact
For remote workers, an explicit plan for human contact that does not depend on motivation. We start smaller than you think is worth doing, because the small version is the one that survives a bad week.
Worth that is not recalculated daily
The deeper piece. Parts work and attachment-focused work on where the daily scoring started, so that a quiet quarter stops reading as evidence about who you are.
Questions
Answered plainly
Anything not covered here is worth asking on the free 15-minute consult.
Can we meet over video during the workday?
Yes. Telehealth runs Monday through Friday and you can be anywhere in California, which covers people who moved out of the county and kept the job. You need a private space, not a conference room with glass walls.
I was just laid off. Is it worth starting now, when money is tight?
That is a fair question and I will not talk you into it. Sessions are $210, and superbills are available on request if you have out-of-network benefits. If the timing is wrong, it is wrong, and the consult is free either way.
Do you actually understand how this industry works?
I understand cycles, equity, on-call, reorgs, and what remote work does to people, because a large share of my caseload lives in it. I am not going to pretend to know your stack, and you should not have to explain your job for the whole first session.
Is this going to be a lot of talking about my childhood?
We start with skills and with what is happening this week. We go into history when it is doing something in the present, and I will say why when we go there. It is not a detour for its own sake.
What if I am in a different state part of the year?
I am licensed in California only, so sessions have to happen while you are physically in California. That is a legal boundary, not a preference, and it is worth planning around before you start.
Free 15-Minute Consult
Fifteen minutes to find out whether this is the right work.
Tell me what is actually going on. I will tell you honestly how I would approach it, and whether I am the right person for it.
In person in San Diego, and by telehealth across California.